For as long as I can remember, I have had the New Year's resolution to "get it together." This has meant many different things over my lifetime, but more recently, it has meant being more organized in my work and personal life. This has resulted in me purchasing an overly decorative planner and fancy stationary pens to start the new year.
The planner that I purchased has organization checklists for home, for the office, and for my kids' school activities. Each year, I make it until about mid-March with my planner, and then it morphs into something else. Sometimes a journal, sometimes a to-do list, and occasionally a list of reminders that I end up needing even more reminders to complete.
I have often felt that I "failed" this goal. Every year, however, I buy the same planner (from the same company), and make the resolution that this is the year that I "get it together." This year was no different.
I have had conversations with a dear friend over the years about why my planner resolution fails. I googled "Reasons Why New Year's Resolutions Often Fail" and was presented with a nice AI summary of why I am not meeting my organizational/planner goals. I resonated with some of the reasons that were generated, such as lack of accountability, lack of specificity, and excitement wears off quickly. The one that resonated with me the most, however, was the lack of internal reflection.
As I reflected on my goals and the purpose behind purchasing the highly-detailed planner, I came to a few realizations about New Year's resolutions in general.
The time between Thanksgiving and New Year is completely chaotic, chock full of demands placed on us by ourselves (and nearly every facet of our lives). This frenzied time of activity then leads directly into the doldrums of winter. The cold and snow no longer feels magical and we are left alone, with little to look forward to until spring. It becomes unbearable.
We need a bright spot, some hope, and the promise of better circumstances, to get us through this season. I think this is where New Year's resolutions come in. I don't think it is a coincidence that the average New Year's resolution lasts 3.74 months, according to the Forbes Health Survey. By the end of March, growth and life have returned to the Earth, as well as our daily lives.
If you get to March and realize that you aren't where you expected to be with your resolution(s), maybe you didn't fail to meet your goal. Maybe it just wasn't meant to last you for the whole year. Maybe it was meant to bring some sanity after a season of chaos and something to look forward to in a time of darkness.
Earlier in this blog, I mentioned that by the time I reach March, my planner morphs into something other than what it is intended for... but it still gets used. I still have the goal of bringing some organization and order to my world, but I have begun to realize that it doesn't have to look a certain way. It doesn't have to be done a certain way. It can be flexible and adapted, and I can re-evaluate how I work on this goal.
Your New Year's resolutions may be more significant than getting more organized, and for many reasons, it needs to continue for you to achieve a larger goal, like recovery from mental illness or eating disorder, possibly even sobriety.
If you reach that 3.74 months and feel like giving up, it is time for that internal reflection. If your goals need to be refined, if you need help with actionable steps or if you need assistance in determining what milestones along the way constitute success, that is where a therapist can come in. We will be there from the initial setting of the goal, and along the path that follows. Make the resolution anyway, even if you have doubts.
Whether your goal is to get organized, improve your mental health, or embark on a path to recovery, you don’t have to navigate it alone. At Libra Virtual Care, our compassionate therapists are here to guide and support you, helping you adapt, reflect, and achieve your goals, no matter how they evolve.
Let’s work together to create a life that feels fulfilling and aligned with your values. Reach out today and take the first step toward a brighter tomorrow.
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